Barbara Crooker
I feel about humor in poetry like I feel about chocolate chips in cookies: you can never have too much of a good thing.
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ALICIA SILVERSTONE MEETS WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS
This is, like
just to say?
You know
those plums?
in the
refrigerator?
that you were
saving?
for breakfast?
Whatever.
They were like
so delicious?
so sweet?
and, you know,
so cold?
EMILY DICKINSON GOES TO CIRCUIT CITY: A TRIPTYCH
I EMILY DICKINSON PROGRAMS HER VCR
Apparently, with no surprise
One can program a VCR—
Can set the channel, date, and time
On which to watch a favorite star.
But time can shift and pass away,
The rolling sun concurs.
Those tiny buttons do confound—
In Japanese, the directions are—
II EMILY DICKINSON PREPARES DINNER IN A MICROWAVE OVEN
I taste a casserole never stewed
Or braised or broiled or baked—
Not all the supermarket shelves
Yield such exotic taste.
I took it from the freezer,
I set it on a plate.
No pot nor pan was needed
The kitchen, immaculate—
III EMILY DICKINSON USES HER FAX MACHINE TO QUERY EDITORS
What mystery pervades a fax!
Where does the paper go?
How does it travel thru the wires
To reach someone you know
Whose pleasure on receiving this
Is mitigated by
An ever rising paper stack
Flung toward eternity.
TXT MSSGE HMLET
Digital interactivity has led to a significant decrease in verbal skills.
--Wikipedia
So yr mom’s getN it on w/ yr uncL
n mayB dey offd yr dad
yr grlfrenz a stuck-up btch
flotin dwn d rivA
n yr bst frnds Btrayd u
So fkng what? 2 B
r nt 2 B, dats d only Q
Tym 2 gt yr groov on.
Gt outa d dumps n danC
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Barbara Crooker’s work has appeared in magazines such as Yankee, The Christian Science Monitor, Highlights for Children, and The Journal of American Medicine (JAMA). She is the recipient of the 2006 Ekphrastic Poetry Award from Rosebud, the 2004 WB Yeats Society of New York Award, the 2003 Thomas Merton Poetry of the Sacred Award, three Pennsylvania Council on the Arts Creative Writing Fellowships, and has been a twenty-six time nominee for the Pushcart Prize. Radiance, her first full-length book, won the 2005 Word Press First Book competition and was a finalist for the 2006 Paterson Poetry Prize; her new book, Line Dance is recently out from Word Press.