The Divorce
“Where the place?”—The Three Witches from the Macbeth
His mother thinks it is about God,
the End Times,
witchcraft.
And she’s probably right.
I cast my writings towards people
who don’t know her son,
who don’t know my son,
who don’t know we almost had another son
sometimes I wonder if she thinks
I called out to some spirits,
asked them to take him,
and using his unborn name
bound the father
and I enjoyed it.
If only there were three of me
one for here
one for there
one for the place I want to be
with your arms wrapped around me,
lips pressing on the round bit of darkness
on my right shoulder
maybe then I could really conjure,
heal the swollen center
of my right knee, its abrasions
so similar
to the marks I wore years ago
after I gave him head,
kneeling
before the couch in our family room;
they bled
for days afterward.
He had said it wasn’t sex,
just an explosion of will.
We didn’t touch each other much
even then.
I told him:
It happened in my mouth,
I swallowed;
that has to count for something.
– adrienne lewis